does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
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I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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