i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize