She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize