I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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