Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize