3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize