i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize