I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize