your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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