you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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