after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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