my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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