anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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