It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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