You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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