I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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