is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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