Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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I feel like I smell like bad decisions
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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