and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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