3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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