Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize