True but thats because hes a fetus.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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