New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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