giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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