it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize