new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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