Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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