Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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