how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize