remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize