do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize