Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize