I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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