U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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