Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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