There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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