im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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