i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
should my penis look like a turkey
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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