in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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