I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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