ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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