I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize