my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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