getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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