"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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