Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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