Kiss
Puke
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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