I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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