I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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