that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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